


Regula Anguem

by Crowbrain



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Based off a tumbler post that I don't feel like digging up, Demon Revolution eventually, Free Will, Gen, Tags to be added as more characters show up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:28:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23257672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crowbrain/pseuds/Crowbrain
Summary: After the Apocalypse that Wasn't, there is much discord below. Everyone had been had been geared up for a fight, and now nothing? Not even a rain check?If new leadership is needed, new ideas, why not turn to the one who kicked off the whole thing with the humans in the first place?
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Regula Anguem

A handful of time after the Beginning, but before anything had gotten interesting, a snake shaped being is wound around the branches of a tree. The bark is rough under his peeling scales, the newest layer coming in after the Fall. The old layer- the burnt layer, is coming off in stripes and patches. The bark is helping- the sort of painful that wraps around into being satisfying. There is a length of him peeled clean, the scales satin-black and ember-red. 

The snake was one of the last to fall; had been pulling himself together as the rest were organizing themselves. Like an elementary school teacher singling out a slacker; Satan had called him out. Had pointed a claw, and said “You there, crawly-thing. Get upstairs and make trouble.” 

And he had gone, though pushing through the Earth’s crust had felt like falling in reverse. He had been there when Herself told Adam not to eat of the tree, the one he is currently resting in. Keeping himself clean, watching for signs of infection- healer that he was and is still, deep deep deep down. 

And he thinks to himself, after the Almighty and her monkey with anxiety had wandered off into some other part of the garden, tail wrapped around one of the delightfully shiny fruits of a shade almost matching his underbelly, ‘ _Might as well see what all the fuss is about._ ’

And bites into the fruit. 

The fruit of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, of making the choice between them, of free will. Flavor somewhere between an apple and a peach, a raspberry and a plum.(1) Years down the line, the demon will bite into a newfangled hybrid of a fruit and think ‘ _Almost, but not quite right._ ’

And Knows. And knows why she made it forbidden. 

And a plan begins to solidify, the whisps of ideas a different demon might have acted on immediately. In a few days he’ll be completely healed. The gleam of his scales might just catch the eye of the lady-creature, the one he hasn’t met yet(2). He could talk to her, he’s always been good at talking.

If he’s going to cause some trouble, he’ll damn well do it with style. 

* * *

A few hours later, an angel arrives in the garden. He had meant to be there earlier, but there was a mix-up with the quartermaster; took ages to get the flaming sword he was supposed to have. 

Like Everyone, he had heard the command given to Adam. However, it had been given to Adam (and by extension Eve)- not to him. And he was feeling rather peckish in this new corporation. He had meant to grab a spot of mana before he left, but the quartermaster! Never mind.

Aziraphale wraps a soft, newly formed hand around something not quite like a quince, not quite like a cherry; completely missing the VERY-LARGE-FUCK-OFF-SNAKE(1) hidden in the boughs and vegetation. 

And bites in. And the fruit tastes like Freedom and Possibility, and all the things that seemed absent from Heaven after the war. 

Knows that this place is worth protecting. 

An hour later, he is talking with Eve about the baby animals that have begun to show up in the garden, and she asks where they come from, and he will blanch and say that an angel named Storkiel brings them in the dead of night.(2) 

A few days later, he is handing his sword over to a now pregnant Eve and then lying about it to the Almighty.(3)

He will stand beside Crawly (later Crowley, later Anthony J.) and watch the humans leave.

The only angel and the only demon to eat from the tree.

  
  


  1. In other words, the ancestor of all Rosaceae. Before humans had the opportunity to get creative with agriculture and cultivars.
  2. On the seventh day, She had made Adam and at the same time Lilith. There were angels assigned to introduce the two, including the-angel-that-would-become-Crowley. It went about the same as zookeepers introducing a lady and a gentleman tiger. You hope they’ll get along and make cute baby tigers, but there's also a good chance they’ll try to tear each other’s faces off. Lilith got as far as breaking one of Adam’s ribs before the Almighty stepped in, transported Lilith to her own garden several hundred miles away, and fixed the whole no-wife-and-broken-rib thing for Adam. Lilith politely asked Herself for a wife instead. 
  3. The-demon-whomst-we-know-as-Crowley was imagining very hard that he wasn’t there.
  4. Like most angels, Aziraphale wasn’t quite comfortable with the...visceral nature of animal sexuality, let alone that of humans. This will change.
  5. Who briefly ponders pushing it, considers his motivations, and feels unexpectedly proud that there is one angel who will put Humanity over Heaven. Who will love them like she does. And really, isn’t that what she asked in the first place?



**Author's Note:**

> If you spot a typo, let me know.


End file.
